- ¿Te estás haciendo la loca, o de verdad aún no te has dado cuenta?
- Me di cuenta, sólo no sé si reaccionar o no.
sábado, 8 de noviembre de 2014
miércoles, 5 de noviembre de 2014
sábado, 27 de septiembre de 2014
Bus to Abilene
The U.S.
Army has a name for a similar phenomenon: “the Bus to Abilene.”
“Any army officer can tell you what that means,”
—Colonel (Ret.) Stephen J. Gerras, a
professor of behavioral sciences at the U.S. Army War College, told Yale Alumni
Magazine in 2008.
“It’s about a family sitting on a porch in Texas on a hot
summer day, and somebody says,
‘I’m bored. Why don’t we go to Abilene?’
When
they get to Abilene, somebody says,
‘You know, I didn’t really want to go.’
And the next person says, ‘I didn’t want to go—I thought you wanted to go,’ and so on.
Whenever you’re in an army group and somebody says,
‘I think we’re all getting
on the bus to Abilene here,’ that is a red flag.
You can
stop a conversation with it. It is a very powerful artifact of our culture.”
The “Bus to
Abilene” anecdote reveals our tendency to follow those who initiate action—any
action. We are similarly inclined to empower dynamic speakers.
“I worry that there are people who are put in positions of authority because they’re good talkers, but they don’t have good ideas,”
“It’s so easy to confuse schmoozing ability with talent. Someone seems like a good presenter, easy to get along with, and those traits are rewarded.
Well, why is that? They’re valuable traits, but we put too much of a premium on presenting and not enough on substance and critical thinking.”
From:
"Quiet: The power of introverts in a world that can't stop talking" by Susan Cain.
Culture of Character vs. Culture of Personality
Orison
Swett Marden, who wrote Character: The Grandest Thing in the World in 1899, produced
another popular title in 1921. It was called Masterful Personality.
Many of
these guides were written for businessmen, but women were also urged to work on
a mysterious quality called “fascination.”
Coming of age in the 1920s was such
a competitive business compared to what their grandmothers had experienced, warned
one beauty guide, that they had to be visibly charismatic:
“People who pass us on the street can’t know that we’re clever and charming unless we look it.”
Such advice—ostensibly
meant to improve people’s lives—must have made even reasonably confident people
uneasy.
Susman
counted the words that appeared most frequently in the personality-driven advice
manuals of the early twentieth century and compared them to the character
guides of the nineteenth century.
The earlier guides emphasized attributes that
anyone couldwork on improving.
But the new
guides celebrated qualities that were—no matter how easy Dale Carnegie made it
sound—trickier to acquire.
Either you
embodied these qualities or you didn’t.
From:
"Quiet: The power of introverts in a world that can't stop talking" by Susan Cain.
viernes, 26 de septiembre de 2014
miércoles, 17 de septiembre de 2014
You didn't
Remember that day I borrowed your brand new car and dented it?
I thought you'd kill me.
But you didn't.
Remember that day I vomited strawberry pie all over your new carpet?
I thought you'd hate me.
But you didn't.
Remember that day I dragged you to the beach, and it really was raining as you said it would?
I thought you'd say "I told you so".
But you didn't.
Remember that day I flirted with all the guys to make you jealous, and you really did get jealous?
I thought you'd leave me.
But you didn't.
Remember that day I forgot to tell you that dance was formal wear and you ended up wearing jeans?
I thought you'd abandon me.
But you didn't.
Yes,
there were lots of things you didn't do...
But you put up with me,
Loved me,
And protected me.
There were lots of things I wanted to make up to you,
when you returned from Vietnam.
But you didn't.
I thought you'd kill me.
But you didn't.
Remember that day I vomited strawberry pie all over your new carpet?
I thought you'd hate me.
But you didn't.
Remember that day I dragged you to the beach, and it really was raining as you said it would?
I thought you'd say "I told you so".
But you didn't.
Remember that day I flirted with all the guys to make you jealous, and you really did get jealous?
I thought you'd leave me.
But you didn't.
Remember that day I forgot to tell you that dance was formal wear and you ended up wearing jeans?
I thought you'd abandon me.
But you didn't.
Yes,
there were lots of things you didn't do...
But you put up with me,
Loved me,
And protected me.
There were lots of things I wanted to make up to you,
when you returned from Vietnam.
But you didn't.
martes, 9 de septiembre de 2014
Confesión #4
Soy frágil.
Me traiciono a mí misma.
Me hago daño.
Soy como un corredor que en vez de correr hacia la meta, corre hacia atrás.
Con miedo.
Me sigo alejando de lo que tanto deseo.
Soy frágil.
21 hábitos de mujeres lindas
- Hidratarte. Siempre.
- Saber, que cuando entres a un lugar, mereces estar ahí. Nadie te está haciendo un favor al dejarte salir, y así sea en la oficina, en una cita, o con tus amigos, nunca deberías sentirte (o actuar) como una obra de caridad.
- Ponte cosas que se vean bien, pero en las que te sientas bien. Si no puedes caminar en tacones, siempre te verás mejor en zapatos bajos.
- Cuando se trata de maquillaje, piensa en términos de “asear/mejorar” y no en términos de “cubrir/cambiar.” Todas tenemos cualidades con las que podemos jugar, y enfocarnos en las básicas (piel linda, cejas cuidadas, mejorar labios/ojos) solo nos hace ser una mejor versión de nosotras mismas (en lugar de parecer una persona completamente diferente).
- Uñas bien pintadas, o de lo contrario sin esmalte.
- Cuando se trata de seguridad, finge hasta que lo logres. Está comprobado que hacerte sonreír a ti misma te hace más feliz, y es lo mismo con la seguridad. Di algunas afirmaciones en tu espejo, camina como si valieras muchísimo, y lo sentirás. Y esto se irradiará en ti.
- Cómprate algo porque te hace sentir increíble. Aún si estás vestida mejor de la cuenta, ¿a quién le importa? Mereces verte, y más importante aun sentirte, linda. (El día que no pueda ponerme un hermoso vestido antiguo para ir a la tienda será el día en el que no quiera estar en este planeta nunca más.)
- Cuida tu cuerpo, pero también trátalo bien, porque hace mucho por ti. Comete una grande y saludable ensalada al almuerzo, pero disfruta muchísimo ese pedazo de pizza en la comida.
- Ríete cuando sea realmente gracioso, y ríete tanto como quieras.
- Sonríe grande para las fotos.
- Tómate el tiempo para decir “gracias” cuando alguien hace algo por ti. Las niñas lindas pueden dar por sentado la amabilidad de la gente – porque son súper lindas, y todos las quieren ayudar – pero las Mujeres Lindas se toman el tiempo de hacer que las personas se sientan apreciadas.
- Nunca pidas disculpas por tomarte el tiempo para hacer ejercicio, o gastarte el dinero en una limpieza fácil o en lo que sea, porque tú y tu salud y bienestar se merecen estas cosas.
- Acomódate a lo que la vida te da: Si la vida te da mala piel (¡alzo la mano!), cuídate más cuando te exfolias y te hidratas, y ten la cara más cuidada en el mundo. Si tienes canas prematuras, cuídatelas y aprovéchalas como la sexy Anderson Cooper versión mujer que eres. Si tienes curvas, encuentra el vestido con cinturón que te hacer ver sensual y abre caminos con esta vida.
- Ponte lo que te hace sentir y ver bien, no lo que está de moda.
- Toma largos, lujosos baños y duchas donde vayas por todos los tratamientos – hasta las locas mascaras de pelo que encontraste en Pinterest.
- Apréciate en el espejo. Admírate. Compleméntate.
- Cuando alguien te haga un cumplido, no tengas miedo de aceptarlo con gracia. Eso no quiere decir que seas convencida, quiere decir que te quieres a ti misma.
- Consiente tu lado femenino, y no te sientas débil o inmadura al hacerlo. El rosado puede ser tu color poderoso.
- Tómate un largo tiempo para organizarte para cosas especiales. Disfruta el ritual y el placer de consentirte a ti misma y hacerte mucho más linda.
- Cuando trabajas duro, recompénsate con regalos, como lo harías con alguien más a quien quieres.
- Hidrátate. Siempre.
martes, 2 de septiembre de 2014
Caballerosidad
Hay una cita que dice:
“El propósito de la caballerosidad es recordar a los hombres, a las mujeres y a la sociedad cuán especiales e importantes son para el mundo”.Los hombres abriendo las puertas, hablando respetuosamente sobre las mujeres, pagando la cena, etc. no es porque ellas no lo puedan hacer por sí mismas, o para que los hombres consigan algo a cambio, sino para que las mujeres sepan que merecen ser respetadas, cuidadas y tratadas de ese modo.
domingo, 31 de agosto de 2014
Una zorra a la cual un cepo le había cortado la cola, estaba tan avergonzada, que consideraba su vida horrorosa y humillante, por lo cual decidió que la solución sería aconsejar a las demás hermanas cortarse también la cola, para así disimular con la igualdad general, su defecto personal. Reunió entonces a todas sus compañeras, diciéndoles que la cola no sólo era un feo agregado, sino además una carga sin razón. Pero una de ellas tomó la palabra y dijo: “Oye hermana, si no fuera por tu conveniencia de ahora, ¿nos darías en realidad este consejo?”
Cuídate de los que dan consejo en busca de su propio beneficio, y no por hacer realmente un bien.
martes, 26 de agosto de 2014
100 Questions you should ask before marriage
QUESTIONS YOU SHOULD ASK BEFORE MARRIAGE
I ran across this list online and had to read through it. My husband and I never made a list of questions like this before we were married but I know that we discussed nearly all of these things. It’s super important that couples who are planning on getting married should know if they are actually compatible. Check out this (borrowed) list and find out if you and your future spouse are on the road to success. (For more information you can check out the link to the article which is located at the bottom of this list.)
Sex/Romance/Love
If we eliminated physical attraction from our relationship, what would be left?
What is the best way for me to show that I love you?
If I put on weight, will it affect our sexual relationship? How?
Is it important for you to know that I’m a virgin? Why or why not?
What do I do that causes you to question my love?
What turns you off sexually?
How would our relationship be affected if for medical reasons we could not have children?
Do you think being in love means: (1) Never having to say you’re sorry, (2) Always having to say you’re sorry, (3) Knowing when to say you’re sorry, or (4) Being the first to say I’m sorry?
If we eliminated physical attraction from our relationship, what would be left?
What is the best way for me to show that I love you?
If I put on weight, will it affect our sexual relationship? How?
Is it important for you to know that I’m a virgin? Why or why not?
What do I do that causes you to question my love?
What turns you off sexually?
How would our relationship be affected if for medical reasons we could not have children?
Do you think being in love means: (1) Never having to say you’re sorry, (2) Always having to say you’re sorry, (3) Knowing when to say you’re sorry, or (4) Being the first to say I’m sorry?
The Past
Which childhood experiences influence your behavior and attitude the most?
Could any feelings of affection and romance be revived if you met a previous boyfriend/girlfriend even though you feel strongly committed to me?
Is there anything in your past I should be aware of?
What did you dislike the most about your previous partners?
If your past boyfriends/girlfriends listed your most negative characteristics, what would they be?
Do you keep letters and memorabilia from past relationships? Why or why not?
Are you comfortable continuing this relationship if there are things in my past that I am not willing to share with you?
Have you ever been involved in any criminal activities? What were they?
Did your mother or father abuse each other or you in any way- sexually, emotionally, or physically?
Have you ever been able to overcome a bad habit? What was it?
Have you ever been violent in past relationships?
Which childhood experiences influence your behavior and attitude the most?
Could any feelings of affection and romance be revived if you met a previous boyfriend/girlfriend even though you feel strongly committed to me?
Is there anything in your past I should be aware of?
What did you dislike the most about your previous partners?
If your past boyfriends/girlfriends listed your most negative characteristics, what would they be?
Do you keep letters and memorabilia from past relationships? Why or why not?
Are you comfortable continuing this relationship if there are things in my past that I am not willing to share with you?
Have you ever been involved in any criminal activities? What were they?
Did your mother or father abuse each other or you in any way- sexually, emotionally, or physically?
Have you ever been able to overcome a bad habit? What was it?
Have you ever been violent in past relationships?
Trust
Have there been times when you were uncomfortable with the way I behaved with the opposite sex? If so, when and what did I do?
What do I do now or what could I do in the future that would make you mistrust me?
Would you be comfortable transferring all your money into my bank account?
Who comes first, your spouse or your children?
Is trust automatic until something occurs that takes it away, or does it evolve over time?
Do you trust me with money?
Is it permissible for us to open each other’s mail?
Have there been times when you were uncomfortable with the way I behaved with the opposite sex? If so, when and what did I do?
What do I do now or what could I do in the future that would make you mistrust me?
Would you be comfortable transferring all your money into my bank account?
Who comes first, your spouse or your children?
Is trust automatic until something occurs that takes it away, or does it evolve over time?
Do you trust me with money?
Is it permissible for us to open each other’s mail?
The Future
How are we different? Could this be a source of future conflict? Do our differences complement each other?
Do you anticipate maintaining your single lifestyle after we are married? That is, will you spend just as much time with your friends, family and work colleagues? Why or why not?
How did your family resolve conflicts when you were growing up? Do you approve or disapprove of that method? what will you change or not change to resolve conflicts in your future family?
Is there anything about marriage that frightens you?
Would you prefer to live in the city, the country, or by the beach? Why?
If I wanted to move away from our families for work, would you support me?
How would it affect you if I travel on my own frequently to (1) visit family, (2) earn income, (3) pursue a hobby, or (4) deal with stress?
Suppose we are experiencing trouble in our marriage. In what order will you seek help from the following to resolve our conflicts: (1) divorce lawyer, (2) your parents, (3) a brother or sister (4) a marriage counselor, (5) me, (6) a church leader? Why?
How will you support my hobbies?
How do you feel about having our parents come to live with us if the need arises?
Is there anything you would regret not being able to do or accomplish if you married me?
How will we schedule holidays with our families?
How are we different? Could this be a source of future conflict? Do our differences complement each other?
Do you anticipate maintaining your single lifestyle after we are married? That is, will you spend just as much time with your friends, family and work colleagues? Why or why not?
How did your family resolve conflicts when you were growing up? Do you approve or disapprove of that method? what will you change or not change to resolve conflicts in your future family?
Is there anything about marriage that frightens you?
Would you prefer to live in the city, the country, or by the beach? Why?
If I wanted to move away from our families for work, would you support me?
How would it affect you if I travel on my own frequently to (1) visit family, (2) earn income, (3) pursue a hobby, or (4) deal with stress?
Suppose we are experiencing trouble in our marriage. In what order will you seek help from the following to resolve our conflicts: (1) divorce lawyer, (2) your parents, (3) a brother or sister (4) a marriage counselor, (5) me, (6) a church leader? Why?
How will you support my hobbies?
How do you feel about having our parents come to live with us if the need arises?
Is there anything you would regret not being able to do or accomplish if you married me?
How will we schedule holidays with our families?
Children
Do you want children?
If we are unable to have children, should we adopt?
Do you anticipate raising our children (1) the same way you were raised (2) completely differently from the way you were raised (3) a mixture of both?
How long would you like to wait before having children?
Other than formal schooling, what types of education will our children get and how will they receive them?
When we have children, who will change the diapers, heat the bottles, prepare the meals, do the housework, bathe the child, get up in the middle of the night when a child is crying, take the child to the doctor, buy clothing, and dress the child?
What types of discipline would you implement to correct a child’s or a teenager’s behavior? Were these practices you experiences or are they new ones you have developed on your own?
Do you want children?
If we are unable to have children, should we adopt?
Do you anticipate raising our children (1) the same way you were raised (2) completely differently from the way you were raised (3) a mixture of both?
How long would you like to wait before having children?
Other than formal schooling, what types of education will our children get and how will they receive them?
When we have children, who will change the diapers, heat the bottles, prepare the meals, do the housework, bathe the child, get up in the middle of the night when a child is crying, take the child to the doctor, buy clothing, and dress the child?
What types of discipline would you implement to correct a child’s or a teenager’s behavior? Were these practices you experiences or are they new ones you have developed on your own?
Annoyances
If I had bad breath or body odor or wear dirty clothes, will you tell me? Should I tell you? Why or why not? How should we do it?
What is nagging? Do I nag? How does it make you feel?
DO you approve without reservation of the way I dress?
What does my family do that annoys you?
Would it bother you if I made body noises all the time, like passing gas or burping?
Is there anything you do in your line of work that I would disapprove of or that would hurt me?
Do you believe that you should stick with a marriage if you are unhappy all the time?
When do you need space away from me?
If I had bad breath or body odor or wear dirty clothes, will you tell me? Should I tell you? Why or why not? How should we do it?
What is nagging? Do I nag? How does it make you feel?
DO you approve without reservation of the way I dress?
What does my family do that annoys you?
Would it bother you if I made body noises all the time, like passing gas or burping?
Is there anything you do in your line of work that I would disapprove of or that would hurt me?
Do you believe that you should stick with a marriage if you are unhappy all the time?
When do you need space away from me?
Communication
Whenever we have difficult feelings about each other, should we (1) remain silent, (2) say something as soon as the difficult feelings arise, (3) wait a certain amount of time before raising the issue, or (4) do something else? If so, what?
If you always say you are going to do something but never do it, what is the most effective way to bring this problem to your attention?
What did you admire about the way your mother and father treated each other?
What is the best way for me to communicate difficult feelings about you so that you are not offended?
Who should know bout the arguments we have?
What makes you not want to talk to me?
Do you feel you could communicate with me under any circumstance and about any subject?
Whenever we have difficult feelings about each other, should we (1) remain silent, (2) say something as soon as the difficult feelings arise, (3) wait a certain amount of time before raising the issue, or (4) do something else? If so, what?
If you always say you are going to do something but never do it, what is the most effective way to bring this problem to your attention?
What did you admire about the way your mother and father treated each other?
What is the best way for me to communicate difficult feelings about you so that you are not offended?
Who should know bout the arguments we have?
What makes you not want to talk to me?
Do you feel you could communicate with me under any circumstance and about any subject?
Finance
What justifies going into debt?
What are all your current personal debts?
Do you feel stress when facing financial problems? How do you deal with that stress?
How often do you use credit cards, and what do you buy with them?
How should we prepare for a financial emergency?
Do you feel that lack of money is a good reason not to have children?
When our child is born, will he or she go to daycare or will one of us stay home to take care of the child? Who will it be?
Will we have a budget?
Who will pay the bills?
How do you feel about helping me pay my debts?
What are your feelings about saving money?
Do you prefer separate bank accounts or assets in different names? Why?
What justifies going into debt?
What are all your current personal debts?
Do you feel stress when facing financial problems? How do you deal with that stress?
How often do you use credit cards, and what do you buy with them?
How should we prepare for a financial emergency?
Do you feel that lack of money is a good reason not to have children?
When our child is born, will he or she go to daycare or will one of us stay home to take care of the child? Who will it be?
Will we have a budget?
Who will pay the bills?
How do you feel about helping me pay my debts?
What are your feelings about saving money?
Do you prefer separate bank accounts or assets in different names? Why?
Miscellaneous
How would you rank all the priorities in your life: work, school, family, spouse, friends, hobbies, and chuch? Does your ranking reflect the amount of time you spend on each?
Are you closer to your mother or father? Why?
Do you prefer a set daily work schedule or flexible work activities and timetables?
What do you fear?
What influence, if any, do you believe my family should have on our relationship?
Do you believe that our parents should know our financial condition, whether good or bad, just because they want to? How far should this go?
What are your views on pornography?
How would you react if our son or daughter told us they were gay?
Do you harbor any racial prejudice?
How do you feel about having guns in our home?
Is there anyone close to you who feels we should not get married? Why? Should we this?
What health problems do you have?
Have you ever had any psychological problems?
When you are in a bad mood, how should I deal with it?
Do you like pets?
How would you rank all the priorities in your life: work, school, family, spouse, friends, hobbies, and chuch? Does your ranking reflect the amount of time you spend on each?
Are you closer to your mother or father? Why?
Do you prefer a set daily work schedule or flexible work activities and timetables?
What do you fear?
What influence, if any, do you believe my family should have on our relationship?
Do you believe that our parents should know our financial condition, whether good or bad, just because they want to? How far should this go?
What are your views on pornography?
How would you react if our son or daughter told us they were gay?
Do you harbor any racial prejudice?
How do you feel about having guns in our home?
Is there anyone close to you who feels we should not get married? Why? Should we this?
What health problems do you have?
Have you ever had any psychological problems?
When you are in a bad mood, how should I deal with it?
Do you like pets?
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